Music is a very important part of my life, accompanying a lot of the things that I do on a daily basis, could them be revising for a test, running on the treadmill or putting down a new poem idea. Throughout time, my preferences in music have changed in all possible directions, and at this point in my life, I can say with confidence that I possess an eclectic musical library.
There are several songs that hold a very personal significance for me, and for which my love has not faded with the passage of years. I thought I would share some of them with you today, using the format of the Teen Vogue YouTube series The Playlist of My Life. So below, you will, of course, find the playlist of my life.
1. Hurricane – Halsey
My absolute favourite from Halsey and a track I never get tired of going back to, Hurricane is very atmospheric and tongue-in-cheek. It tells the tale of a girl who willingly avoids getting attached to people and places, always wandering, never staying behind and growing roots, like extreme weather.
Hurricane paints the picture of a character that I wanted to become, when I was 17 and first listened to this song, and I related to some of the ideas and themes it explored. Whenever I listened to the song, it made me think of the petty, little drama revolving around the groups I used to mingle with in sixth form: the innocent crushes and the rumours, and this lasting belief that everybody is nothing more than the stories told about them and the way they wore themselves in public. In year 11, Hurricane was my reminder that I am more than what is told about me, and that I had roots nowhere and I could leave, so that’s what I did. Thank you, Ashley.
2. Nuclear Seasons – Charli XCX
This is by far the best bop on this list. It was in the early spring of 2015 that I discovered Charli XCX, and I’ve been avidly listening to the masterpieces of this pop princess ever since. I would spend my early nights in revising for whatever was coming up in form, and listen to True Romance again and again. Nuclear Seasons is one of my favourite songs of all-time, and I do feel that will never change: it was only a week ago I stumbled over the track again in my library, and lost my cool in the middle of the street.
I love this song because it is catchy and fun, yet heartbreakingly serious, depicting a love story gone wrong and a dismayed lover picking up the pieces in the aftermath. It is a song I can both dance away to and weep at, because it is so full of conflicting emotions and messages. The nuclear fallout-related themes also resonate with me because they are a thing I am weirdly enough into. It has a gorgeous intro, and it triggers my synaesthesia like only a few songs can. What else could I even ask of it?
3. Homemade Dynamite – Lorde
There are various songs from Lorde I could add to the playlist of my life, but this particular track beats them all. I’ve already reviewed Melodrama for the blog so chances are, you already know I am madly in love with what Lorde’s done on her sophomore album, but Homemade Dynamite is easily my favourite track off the record (although I have to admit, choosing one was a gruelling challenge). Homemade Dynamite has it all: amazing melody, impressing vocals, beautiful lyrics. I do believe that anyone can enjoy this song, could them be far from a Lorde fan.
At the age of 20, I related this song to the sort of things I was going through back in my last two years of sixth form, especially the social circles I was in, the parties I was going to and the mentality leaning like a thick cover over these places. The childish flirting and the heavy drinking included, too. Although the song is albeit a fun one, I have always felt as though the writer was looking down at these sorts of things through a critical lens, with this song, and that is how I felt at the time as I was experiencing a lot of this, and had a hard time understanding why anyone would ever want to get sh*tfaced drunk or in bed with a person they were not even keen on. But I guess Lorde’s said it better than I ever will.
4. This Side Of Paradise - Hayley Kiyoko
Most of the music that’s ended up being very important to me, I discovered around 2015 but it was only until early summer of 2016 that I went back to This Side Of Paradise and had it on replay for a few good weeks. Having not known much about the meaning behind the song at the time, I always assumed it was about a toxic relationship in which somebody chooses to stay, despite the poor treatment they get, solely because they are in love with that person.
I somewhat related to the song at the time, and it’s helped me process through the feelings I struggled with then; although it takes me back every time I listen to it, I genuinely don’t mind the reminiscing aspect of it. I also strongly associate it with the roadtrips I used to take with a friend at the end of sixth form: just the two of us in his family’s car, chatting away, knowing nothing about where we were going next. But it never fails to bring me a sweet taste, and I guess that’s how you know that music heals.
5. Polarize – twenty one pilots
A song from twenty one pilots had to feature on the playlist of my life, it’s a band that speaks to my soul like no other musical act. Polarize itself is a truly profound, yet disarmingly catchy track exploring themes related to mental health and identity. Compared to other songs from top, it’s fairly simple but in their lack of apparent complexity, the lyrics convey an overwhelming load of different messages: I don’t think there’s a single time I listen to this song that I don’t discover something new, a meaning of sorts that I haven’t thought of before. It is also the song from the band that I always recommend to others, in case they’re not familiar to the music of twenty one pilots: there’s not a single way anybody can ever hate this song.
In my personal experience with mental health and my spiritual journey, I’ve lived through a lot of the things written about in Polarize. Hearing this song for the first time was simply eye-opening, and moshing to it live back in their second 2016 show in London was the experience of a lifetime. An absolute fun masterpiece.
6. Papa Don’t Preach – Madonna
The story about this song is a particularly quirky one: I heard it for the first time at a friend’s birthday party, during an impromptu karaoke session. I fell in love with the contagious rhythm, the nostalgic guitar riffs and the Americana-inspired visuals of the music video: I am such a fool for the ‘80s, so there was no way I wouldn’t have been touched by the whole experience. Before we knew what we were doing, I and my mates started a passionate discussion about the meaning behind the song, and I was shocked when my friend suggested that the ‘baby’ Madonna sings about in the chorus could actually be a real baby. Surely enough, Papa Don’t Preach was a true feminist anthem of its time, touching upon topics like abortion and teen pregnancies.
It is a beautiful song in every single way, so smartly put together, lyrics and music, and just so likely to become an earworm for every person lucky enough to stumble upon it.
7. Who Is It – Michael Jackson
As a 12-year-old, I listened to a lot of Michael Jackson. It was after his tragic passing that a lot of people in my generation made acquaintance with his music, and although my musical tastes have shifted quite a bit as I grew up, there is no way I can stop admiring this man’s creative work. Who Is It is by far my personal favourite, as well as one of the most heartbreaking songs in existence. The track follows a story of adultery, and the confusion and disappointment of a betrayed lover who demands answer. The sorrow and desperation are palpable, and the cinematic music video makes for an even more intense experience.
Looking back, it’s just crazy to think that young me was in awe with this song as much as I am now, when I clearly possess a bit more emotional depth. By now, I know my fascination won’t fade with age.
8. Everybody Wants To Rule The World – Tears for Fears
In case you haven’t guessed it already, the answer is yes, I discovered this song through Lorde’s cover for the second installment of The Hunger Games. After listening to her significantly more dramatic version, I decided to finally check the original, which I grew to love even more than the cover. You can already see a bit of a theme emerging from this playlist: cheerful-sounding songs with dark, depressing lyrics. One could listen to Everybody Wants To Rule The World in the background while doing the washing up or gardening, and not even imagine the kinds of topics this song looks at, and I could guess this is where Lorde’s cover was heading. Long story short: this song talks about everything, ranging from growing up, to climate change, to the inherent bad nature of people. If you haven’t heard it yet, go and listen. Now. Don’t even bother reading this post any further.
This is another song I simply cannot get enough of. And when I am not dancing around my room to it, I am probably rocking back and forth in a corner, overwhelmed by how real its message actually is.
9. My Number – Foals
With this particular track, I feel as though we return to the nostalgic tone I had at the start of this post, when I was listing down songs that left a mark on my years of sixth form. With My Number, I have this extremely vivid, extremely emotional synaesthetia-like experience of going on various adventures with my friends in the early summer of 2016, enjoying freedom while we could before we would take off in university and in life. There is no way this song will ever not make me think about the friends I used to have then, the kind of people we were and the kind of aspirations we were striving towards. And when I choose to listen to this song, it is usually to give myself the chance of a short trip in the past to relive these moments, imperfect but good as they are.
Also, fun fact: I have no clue what it is about, but I think I’m alright this way.
10. Dream Lover - The Vaccines
With Dream Lover, it is pretty much the same thing as with My Number: I don’t really give a toss about the actual meaning of the song, it just has a strong synaesthetic effect on me, and a deeply personal meaning. I struggled quite a bit in my last two years of sixth form and often, the only thing that kept me going and pushed me to keep on putting in the work was the end game: going to the university in the United Kingdom. Before I went to bed, I would usually tune into BBC Radio 1 and listen to whatever was on at the time, and there was one particular programme on Monday evenings that had this song playing at the very start every single week. I began to associate this song with my aspiration to travel and study in the UK, and listening to it started to fill me up with a lot of energy and drive. More than two years later, I am here, where I’ve always wanted to be and this song continues to have the very same impact on me. Crazy, right?
11. I Did Something Bad – Taylor Swift
We are moving on to the last couple of songs in the playlist of my life, which are the anthems of my heart and songs I live by faithfully. Of course, I couldn’t miss dropping a track from Taylor Swift herself, probably my biggest role model and the artist I’ve been listening to for the longest time of my life – that says something, she simply speaks to my soul. And although I’ve been used to her soft country-pop ballads and break-up power anthems, I welcomed I Did Something Bad with open arms because it’s just such a relevant song. It channels sheer anger and revolt, and it’s just so intimidating and powerful and out there to crush patriarchy to plain dust. I guess with all of Taylor’s previous songs, I merely liked them and found them fun and beautiful. But with this one, I’ve definitely felt proud and inspired.
There is one particular lyric in I Did Something Bad that I’m not afraid to say that it’s changed my life. Very simple, it goes like that: If a man talks shit, then I owe him nothing. Not even exaggerating by this point, I dropped toxic people and excluded myself from the drama just because I heard this lyric and realised how bloody true it is. I Did Something Bad is a force to be reckoned with, and the song 2018 needed the most.
12. Forget – Marina and the Diamonds
The final song of the playlist is an empowering track from Marina and the Diamonds, whom I’ve already praised quite a bit in a previous blog post. Off her latest record, Forget tells the story of rebirth, a brand new start. It is about moving on from your past, forgiving and not forgetting, and giving yourself the privilege of beginning anew, giving yourself a second chance. One topic hard to digest, but particularly relatable for me as I find myself quite wary of my own past mistakes and mishaps. With all due honesty, just like in this song, I am not happy with the things I had to go through to get where I am now, although everything’s turned out particularly well in the end. It is at the end of such a journey that one should celebrate rather than mourn what was lost, and that is what I am sort of trying to do now.
This song never fails to give me hope and energy to pick myself back up and carry forward. It is also such an inspiring note to end my playlist on: an appropriate ending for a rollercoaster of emotions and memories on my part.
This has been the playlist of my life. If you want to listen to any of the songs I talked about, take a look at the playlist I’ve newly made for the blog: test 1. It includes all the tracks discussed here, as well as other bops I am listening to right now. Also, follow me on Spotify for more musical recommendations and playlists that I use for studying, gym and lying around doing nothing.
Like, comment and share if you enjoyed this post! It would also be great if you shared your own playlists in the comments section down below!
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