This weeks’ mental health feature will be a bit more personal than the ones I’ve posted in the past: as I’ve just started typing the introduction for it, I am unsure of where it’s going to take me and how emotional I might actually get in the process. I will try my best to keep it as informative as possible, though, and maintain an objective perspective on the topic.
According to statistics collected by the National Bullying Prevention Center, part of PACER, more than one in five students (20.8%) report being bullied (National Center for Education Statistics 2016), with rates of bullying varying across studies, from 9% to a revolting 98%. 33% of students reporting experiences of being bullied suggested that they were bullied at least once or twice a month during the school year (National Center for Education Statistics 2016). Experiences of bullying include: being made fun of, being called names or insulted, being subjected to rumours, being physically abused or threatened, and being excluded from activities on purpose, but this list is non-exhaustive. The proportion of female students reporting experiences of bullying is slightly higher than the proportion of male students (23% to 19%) (National Center for Education Statistics 2016). Recent studies have also recorded a higher prevalence of cyberbullying (bullying perpetrated in the online medium), from 18% to 34% in the time span of ten years (2007-2010) (Patchin and Hinduja 2016). Numerous other studies have focused on the prevalence of bullying targeting students with disabilities, students of colour and students who identify or are perceived as part of the LGBTQ+ community.
To adapt to the demographic of this blog’s audience, this post will primarily focus on bullying in an academic environment or affecting students, although workplace bullying happens just as often and causes the same sort of impact. Nearly half of workers in the United States (49%) report having been affected by workplace bullying to some degree (The 2007 WBI-Zogby Survey 2011), with the bully outranking the victim in 72% of the cases (Goman 2014). Women and people part of ethnic minorities are at greater risk of being bullied while at work (The 2007 WBI-Zogby Survey 2011).
Just skimming over these statistics is enough to claim that bullying happens quite a lot. But statistics aside now, we’ve all seen bullying happen, either at our school, in our workplace or in our community. Those of us that study at home or are self-employed might have certainly seen bullying in popular culture: it’s a popular film trope, a theme for songs and music videos and an emerging plot drive in recent literary publications. Take something as frivolous as Mean Girls: beyond the tongue-in-cheek American high school stereotypes and comedic relief, bullying is the issue at the core of Cady Heron’s self-discovery journey. But real life beats fiction, and bullying is omnipresent and if you’re saying you’ve never witnessed it happen, then you’re lying or you’re a bully yourself.
In fact, one of the main reasons why I wanted to write this post is because we don’t talk about bullying enough. Yes, we do say it’s a problem and yes, we’re eager to come up with a solution, make that positive change in the world, but do we ever get to that point? No and before we know it, the conversation dies. Anti-bullying initiatives do exist, now more than ever before and they do relieve the problem, but I don’t think that is enough to charge and ultimately change bullies to become better people, not if we don’t keep on talking about it, not if we don’t call these people out not to bully them back, but rather to make them aware of the wrong they’ve done. So if you are even remotely offended by this post so far, please continue reading. I am sick and tired of telling people how bad bullying is and how important it is that we change things, and they either brush it off like it’s nothing or say the conversation makes them ‘uncomfortable’ or it’s not ‘relevant’ for them. People are hurt by it, of course it’s relevant! I’ll show you how.
(source: © Kids Helpline 2017)
In a study conducted in 2015, the Center for Disease Control reported an increased risk of poor school adjustment, sleep difficulties, anxiety and depression in students that are victims of bullying. Being bullied increases the likelihood of mental health struggles in students and has been strongly associated with having suicidal thoughts, though influenced by other factors such as depression, behaviour and substance abuse (Reed, Nugent and Cooper 2015). In these particular circumstances, the false notion that suicide is a natural response to being bullied can lead to the perpetration of copycat behaviours in other students experiencing bullying, which normalises suicide as a reaction to such experiences (Center for Disease Control 2015). Victims of bullying also experience an increased risk of developing behaviour problems (Center for Disease Control 2015), and are twice as likely as students who are not bullied to develop negative physical health outcomes such as headaches and stomach aches (Gini and Pozzoli 2013).
As a result of these struggles, bullying victims have trouble in other departments of their life as well. They cannot efficiently respond to academic and professional demands, they cannot keep up with their endeavours and they find it difficult to adjust to new environments. They are less likely to open up to people, engage in healthy relationships and be confident in social contexts, and more likely to isolate themselves and experience loneliness. Bullying has a negative impact on the way they feel about themselves, about their relationships with other people and about (school) work. These are all things we cannot see in a victim of bullying: we could think they are indifferent or unaffected by it, just because they don’t show any particular feelings towards it but little can we know, they struggle every day.
Studies on the impact of bullying have also looked at the outcomes of anti-bullying initiatives and involvement of bystanders. A study conducted by Davis and Nixon (2010) reported that checking on victims of bullying, listening to them and giving them advice were the most helpful things teachers can do to help them out. Students who experienced bullying also found peer actions more helpful than self-actions or teacher involvement. The report has also shown that teachers often encourage the victims to self-act, don’t offer enough support or offer poor suggestions that lead to negative outcomes for the victims themselves. This is why it is crucial that instead of just saying that bullying is bad, unacceptable and must be stopped, we should take a proactive stance towards it and actually mediate these situations: listen to the student that is bullied, help relieve the negative effects of bullying on them by providing actual support, and make the bully aware of the wrong they do rather than punish them aggressively. If a dummy like me who hasn’t even finished university can come up with a solution, so can schools and places of employment all around the world.
(source: The Ubiquity, article by Naila Gonzalez)
Do I expect the prevalence of bullying to fall in the near future? I am sorry to say that no, I actually don’t. I am so passionate about making it a reality myself, but I’m only one girl, I don’t have much power myself and bullying is literally all around us. People have grown insensitive to it or don’t think it’s worth mentioning anymore because things never change, but it breaks my heart to see how bad things are getting. It’s all over social media if you look close enough, it’s in our real, physical lives and we carry on despite of it, just because we started to think that oh, it’s just how people are. No, people should not be like that. We should be kind and patient and tolerant, it costs us nothing to be nicer and yet, we offer positivity like it’s tomorrow’s meal, like we are losing on something if we are not mean or aggressive, or dominant. At this point, I just want to know that I’m not the only one who thinks that.
If you have been or are currently bullied, please, talk to somebody. Talk to a parent or to a tutor or to a friend or to somebody from your school or place of work that you trust and feel comfortable talking to. Although it doesn’t feel like it, you are not alone. You have people who love you and appreciate you and care about your well-being, and they would do anything to support you when you struggle. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to anybody in person, there are plenty of helpful resources out there, maintained by amazing folks who know exactly how you feel and genuinely want to help you. I will put some links under this post, as well! Finally, it might sound like nothing from me but please, know that your worth is not defined by what some people who don’t even know you say you are. They don’t know anything about you, they don’t know the journeys you’ve been through, they cannot see your glow and they cannot hear your music – and that is their immense, irrevocable loss. But you are an amazing person, worthy of good things happening to you, and they will happen to you because you are a trooper, you fight a victorious battle every day. But just like with an army, you don’t have to be alone in this fight and people in your life root for you and want to help. If you feel endangered or threatened in any way, please, contact emergency services if necessary or tell somebody immediately.
If your friend/someone you know has been or is currently bullied, please, talk to them about it. Offer your help in a non-invasive way, offer to support them and listen to what they have to say. Stand up for them and protect them, and encourage other people to discourage bullying, too. Make sure you respect the privacy of your friend. If you believe they are in danger or threatened in any way, please, contact emergency services if necessary or tell somebody immediately.
If you suspect that you have been or currently are a bully, I’ll be honest, I’m not sure how to go about it. I guess the only thing that comes to mind and feels appropriate is the following lyric: Today is never too late to be brand new. It is essential that you spend some time with yourself and think about the way you acted and the reasons behind it. Don’t be afraid to seek support; in fact, I urge you to find someone to talk to. You can repair your mistakes and start over, nobody will put you down for it but instead, they will respect you and encourage you to pursue this direction. Don’t be afraid to make that change. As we’ve already learned today, you can change somebody’s life for the better.
My strong feelings towards bullying exist because I had been bullied. It’s a topic I want to address in a future post, when I do feel ready to go into detail and share my story. Shortly put for now, it was terrible, it made me hate myself and my life and it’s been years since then and I have not recovered completely from it, but I am making amazing progress every day. Just putting it out there to show you that people’s terrible behaviour is not an indicator of your worth and that you can do it, too, you can heal and feel better about yourself and protect yourself and cherish who you are.
Down below you will have a list of helpful resources in case you or somebody that you know is struggling, as well as a list of informative articles, studies and websites, including the ones I’ve referenced in this post. And thank you for reading this.
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RESOURCES IF YOU OR SOMEBODY YOU KNOW EXPERIENCES BULLYING:
National Runaway Safeline (US) – 1-800-786-2929
National Bullying Helpline (UK) – 0845 22 55 787
INFORMATIVE RESOURCES ON BULLYING:
Center for Disease Control (2015) Understanding bullying (original factsheet no longer available online, but another relevant link from the source, focused on bullying prevention, is provided)
Photo sources:
Photo 1 - © Kids Helpline 2017 (link on picture)
Photo 2 - The Ubiquity - The student news source of Quartz Hill High School, attached to an article by Naila Gonzalez, May 26th 2017 (link on picture)