In case you haven’t followed my blog all that closely, you might not know that I was born and raised in Romania, where I spent the first 18 years of my life. In the autumn of 2016, I moved to the United Kingdom to pursue higher education; by the end of my degree, I would have lived here for three years. Being a student from abroad has been a truly special and eye-opening experience, and I get asked a lot how it has changed my way of being and of doing things. At the same time, a lot of people assume that my time in the UK has had a certain effect on me, which often enough is far from the truth.
So in that regard, I thought I would share my experience on the blog. Culture shock, adjusting and my plans for the future, all related to emigrating for education.
I must stress that it is entirely and solely my personal experience of studying abroad. Different people have different expectations, and their expectations and actions generate different outcomes: there is simply not one way to tell this story, and studying abroad isn’t for everyone. You might not share my views, and that is fair enough! Also, my experiences cannot foreshadow what you might go through if you decide to study abroad. Take this as no more than a life story, then move forward and make your own decisions rather than use my advice.
I wouldn’t say that I was culturally shocked by the UK. A lot of the things that I have seen once I came here, I already expected more or less but of course, the experience of the real thing was something else. How polite people are, for example. I picked up a lot of good and respectful habits since I started living here: holding doors, thanking more, you name it. I also educated my tendency to apologise and stuck to it only in contexts that require an excuse on my part. I also found that since living here, I’ve had an easier time talking to strangers, making small talk and socialising in contexts in which I would’ve otherwise felt uncomfortable. To some degree, that went against what I have heard about British people: that they are cold, unfriendly and quiet. No, this stereotype must be shattered: I don’t think I’ve ever found it easier to talk to someone than I found talking to an Englishman.
Moving to the UK also brought along a bit of a change of mentality for me. People here are more relaxed and carefree, they do not get as worked up and stressed and full in-your-face as Romanians do. I often found that I was the loudest, most dominant person in a conversation because of the way I was used to being back home, so living here helped me tone it down a bit and let go of things that would’ve otherwise pushed my buttons like nothing else. Could it be waiting in a long queue at the shop or managing academic stress, I completely changed my approach to it. In a similar fashion, my interests have shifted to some degree as well. Although I mentioned small talk earlier as something I engage with more efficiently now, I actually don’t aimlessly chat all that much with my peers. Instead, we discuss topics with substance and meaning, there is not a single conversation that I leave thinking to myself, ‘Well, that was a waste of time.’ I do think that back home, people often chat just for the sake of talking rather than to send a meaningful message of sorts.
(source: personal archive)
Zooming in specifically on the academic environment, I was taken aback by the changes that university brought along. Although there is a leap from high school/sixth form to university regardless of where you are studying, I do feel as though Romanian education has prepared me very poorly for what followed in higher education – preparation which British students got during their A Levels or equivalent qualifications. I could start by talking about critical analysis, which I’ve done almost none of during sixth form. No, I do think I had one single class that challenged us to consider various topics critically rather than take them at face-value. A lot of the learning that we did was descriptive, and had little to no input based on our considerations and perspectives: if you didn’t know the information as it was written down in the book, you were deemed stupid and that was that. It disgusts me how our A Levels exams were all about regurgitating loads of information onto the paper without considering it critically, but that’s a topic for me to rant about for some other time.
Education here is also placing emphasis on independent learning and basically, doing your own thing with the academic tasks that you are given. I found that beyond the thirteen hours of classes a week that I had to attend, I was supposed to spend another hundred hours for each module I was taking, studying in my own time. A lot of reading, taking notes, looking at things from different points of view and trying to make your own way through the material. Scary, but we were not completely alone: our teachers were just an e-mail away and they were willing to take any questions we had. I found that I quite enjoy independent learning, the studying in itself and the process of planning and organisation that precedes it. It took me a while to get used to it, though, and I know that if we did more of this back in sixth form, I wouldn’t have taken so much time to adjust.
Finally, learning here is about hands-on contact with the information that we’re working with. I’ve done a bit of this in sixth form, especially in my History, Philosophy, Economics and Religious Studies classes, so I can’t exactly complain. I do think, though, that this practice should become a compulsory part of all the subjects taken in Romanian schools. Not only does it facilitate kinaesthetic learners – who would usually struggle to follow a class -, but it also provides real-life-inspired contexts in which you can use the information that you learn. For certain subjects that I took in sixth form, that I struggled with because it was compulsory for me to take the class but I had no interest in it, I would’ve appreciated a hands-on approach that I didn’t have, just because the system didn’t allow it.
A question I get a lot on this topic is whether I felt like an outsider during my time here. Of course I did! It’s quite hard not to feel like that, just because you are different from everybody else, and nothing can change that. There were times when I felt bad because I wasn’t in on the joke – just because I did not share the same common-sense knowledge as people here or my bilingual brain was messing up at times – or I struggled to communicate with others, although I obviously knew the language. That was really it, though. I have loved the place since the first time I saw it, on a misty, yet sunny morning down in London Luton Airport. At no point have I felt uncomfortable or unhappy here; I made my home here very quickly and nothing else has changed after. I was also so grateful for always feeling included, were it in my group of friends or in my classes or at work. At no point was I made to feel like an outsider or was I judged for where I came from. No racism, no nothing. As I said, this is entirely my experience. That does not negate anybody else’s experience with racism.
I found that part of it is luck, and part of it is how you treat others, too. I am aware that I was privileged enough to get to know the United Kingdom through an academic lens: surrounded by students from all over the world, supported by open-minded staff from the university, of course things couldn’t have gone terribly wrong. At the same time, I know that I deserve respect and appreciation because that’s what I am spreading all around me. I seldom tell people where I’m from, not because I deliberately avoid revealing it, but because there is no use for me to make a fuss out of it if the conversation doesn’t require that kind of information. That is also something I don’t ask about unless it’s necessary or appropriate. Frankly, I don’t care where people are from unless they are nice – but Romanian people usually do. The amount of times I get asked about the nationality of my friends, housemates and course peers by people back home is absolutely ridiculous. Why the hell would it matter where someone is from?! They just have to be cool in my book.
The way I see it, culture shock is inevitable, you’ve just got to roll with the punches. You cannot possibly expect yourself to adapt right away, not even if you fall in love with the place as soon as you touch down: it’s really not how it works. Give yourself time and space to get used to your new surroundings and all the cultural bits and bobs that come along with it, and don’t push yourself too hard to love the place or become part of it right away. Also, be open to understanding the place and its people better and don’t be afraid to ask questions! It was on the way to the club when I finally asked my boyfriend what a quid is, because I couldn’t understand why everybody else in our group kept saying that we had to pay ‘five quid’ for the entrance. Nobody will judge you for asking those questions, and you will not regret asking them because they will help you learn new information.
I wouldn’t say that I can give any valuable advice when it comes to dealing with culture shock; honestly, it’s nothing more than just adapting to things as they come. And of course, don’t forget to be yourself! No place in the world will ever ask you to change who you are, so there’s no reason for you to worry about. And don’t forget to have fun! You are going through this process only once, so try to make the most out of it.
That’s it for my experience with culture shock as a Romanian student in the United Kingdom. If you have thoughts on the topic that you would like to share, feel free to do so in the comments section down below! I am more than happy to carry the discussion on with you guys!
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Photo sources: personal archive.
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