Writing plays a major role in my life, and not just because I write a blog. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that there’s not a single day that goes by without me writing at some point throughout. It can be a poem, it can be notes for university or it can be just a phone memo – regardless, this is how I function, by writing constantly. As a child, I naturally gravitated towards the idea of keeping a journal. It made sense that I would write down all my thoughts and memories in a notebook that I decorated and curated myself, and that I hid away from the rest of the world. But as time went by, my drive to write in my diary gradually wore off. I would often forget to write in it and I was disappointed to see how much free space I had left between entries. Also, once I was bought my first laptop, most of my writing endeavours transferred to the digital environment.
Several years later, I picked up journaling again and now it’s an activity that I pursue daily. Not only do I organise my life using a bullet journal, but I also practise thoughts journaling, which I’m going to focus on in this post. I was encouraged to write a diary by a specialist I started seeing in November 2017, for the sole purpose of keeping a record of how my health was coming along. Since then, my journaling style has changed significantly, and I’ve constantly tailored it to my needs which have changed, as well. But most importantly, my attitude towards the concept of keeping a journal has shifted as a result of my recent experience with journaling. And in today’s post, I will tell you how that happened and why you should consider writing a journal yourself.
It’s important for me to note before kicking off: this post will share my perspective on how journaling can support and improve one’s mental health journey. This perspective is entirely based on my own experiences with journaling and the impact it’s had on my mental health.
I might be a writer, but I'm also quite sensitive to the visual side of things. I enjoy sticking pictures that I like or give me a particular vibe, around the entries in my journals.
(source: personal archive)
I found that the main reason why I shied away from journaling, as a child and later as an adult, was because I had a serious misconception of what journaling actually was. When I thought of ‘journaling’, I often had in mind a girl sitting at a table loaded up with scented candles and gorgeous stationery, writing down in a beautifully decorated notebook, perfect, slick handwriting and all. And journaling can be that, but journaling can also be lots of other things: most of all, journaling is what you need it to be. You can write every day or you can do it only once a week, or you can write whenever you feel like it. You can do it on paper or in a Word document or you can use a journaling app on your smartphone. There is no right or wrong way to do it, as long as you feel as though you are reaching your goal in terms of journaling. Which for the sake of this post, will be mental health-related (but of course, journaling can be used for anything! It can be academical, professional, personal, you name it.)
The first core purpose that journaling has for me is keeping a record of my life. Although I wouldn’t rush to say that my memory is terrible, I usually struggle to remember the things that I do and how they make me feel on mundane days, when nothing special happens. On one hand, I am all about making as many memories as possible, so writing in my diary helps me remember bits and bobs from days I would usually forget altogether, or at least have some sort of idea of what I was up to at a certain point. Although my second year of university was definitely more eventful and more organised than my first year, writing in my journal almost every day helped me remember so much more from the last twelve months of my life compared to the last couple of years. Both the good and the bad, and really, just things that show me how far I’ve come – and that makes me happy because it tells me that I’m moving forward. On the other hand, keeping track of my mood helps me get an idea of how my mental health is progressing, and how big of an impact special help had for me in time. When going back to these entries, I’m looking at how my needs have changed and how I should adapt my experience with therapy and journaling to suit them. Without journaling, I really wouldn’t know where I’m at to actually decide where I’m going next.
A picture I took in July 2017, before I started journaling again. I have little to no memories of that summer, and it's little bits like this that sort of remind me of what I was up to at the time.
(source: personal archive)
Then, journaling for me is about working with my thoughts. As humans, we go through so many different experiences and we end up in unexpected situations, some of them easy to get out of and some of them rather difficult and hurtful. Once we do make it out, we’re left with thoughts and feelings that we sometimes don’t understand or just don’t have the greatest time processing, and journaling can make everything more bearable. Firstly, you’re given the chance to write everything down and get it out of your head, where it probably looks more horrific than it actually is. With your struggle neatly spread out on a piece of paper or in a Word document, you can start working towards overcoming these obstacles. You can look at them from different viewpoints, you can make notes on how they make you feel throughout the process, and you can make careful decisions about how you want to act towards these challenges. Take the example of a break-up. Or low self-esteem. Or dealing with worries around the workplace. Whatever it is, you can write it down, take it out of your system, then plan for the future. Just like with your daily record, these entries are for you to go back to whenever you feel like it.
Finally, when I journal, I feel like I am opening up to myself. And I think this is the second big reason why people tend to brush off journaling like something that isn’t ‘for them’, this time rather unconsciously. People generally tend to feel uncomfortable when they are exposed or vulnerable. This is why many would refuse to perform on stage, in front of a crowd, skinny-dip even if everyone else does it, or talk to someone, either a good friend or a stranger, about their feelings. It’s not only other people that we struggle to open up to, but also ourselves. And it’s natural to feel that way: the thought of writing down my intimate thoughts feels very scary, even though I am pretty much doing the same thing here, on my blog and in my poetry. Because it’s ourselves that we open up to, admitting that we are not always functioning at 100% capacity, we feel weak and alone sometimes, and there are things we went through that we still need a lot of time and energy to process. This is going off on a tangent, so I’ll tell you briefly: journaling is about being gentle to yourself. Giving yourself a shoulder to cry on when nobody else does, because they’re too busy, they don’t care or they don’t realise that you might need it. Talking to yourself like you are your very own best friend, and giving you the support and the safe space for expression that you crave. Getting to that dimension of journaling is quite hard, and I feel like I haven’t got there yet either, but I’m confident that it’s doable – hence why I’m talking about it now. And once you get to that level of comfort with yourself, there is literally nothing stopping you from working with what you have towards becoming a better, healthier person.
I took this picture in October 2017, and although that was before journaling came back into my life, I remember that period of my life in a completely different light. My memories are more vivid, and for the most part, so much happier.
(source: personal archive)
Which brings me to my conclusion: start journaling today! There is nothing you need in particular to get going, and this might be the first step in a wonderful journey that, who knows? It might even change your life. Feel free to toy around with different formats and styles, make the experience your own! And hopefully come back here, to share your thoughts in the comments because I would absolutely love to hear what you have to say.
Mental Health Weekly is coming along nicely so far, although I am planning to stick to a post every two weeks rather than weekly (therefore completely contradicting the title, ugh), and to alternate between this and Trip Diary for a while (so that’s coming out next week!). I do have many ideas for future posts, but is there something in particular that you’d like me to write about? Drop a comment if you have any suggestions.
X
Articles on the benefits of journaling:
Photo sources: personal archive.