Starting my psychology undergraduate degree meant embarking on a fascinating journey to learning more about mental health: what it is, why it’s impactful on so many of the things that we do and why it’s just as significant – and just as frail – as physical health. I sought to use this newly acquired information for more than just writing good academic papers and performing well in exams, and I made a goal for myself to improve my mental health and understand myself better using this knowledge. And because it’s soon become an important part of my life, I thought I might as well share it with you here, in a series of (hopefully) weekly posts on my experience with mental health.
Disclaimer: I am not a mental health expert and, since I’ve recently changed my career plans, never will be. For diagnosis and finding out more about the forms that mental illness can take, please speak to a professional psychologist, therapist or certified counsellor. Here I want to merely explore the ways that have worked for me in improving my mental state, my happiness and my life satisfaction and how I now understand myself better using the tools provided by psychology.
For the debut post of this blog series, I think it’s only fair that I’m writing about self-care, definitely one of the most prominent and most accessible, yet least employed techniques which support an individual’s recovering mental state. As mental health issues become more and more recurrent among the general population, there is an on-growing demand for treatment using medication, counselling and other medical methods. Treatment is vital for recovery indeed, but not alone in this process, and that’s where self-care comes into discussion. More often than not, self-care is also cheaper and easier to fit in an individual’s busy life.
As defined by the Cambridge English Dictionary, self-care is “the act of caring for yourself when you are ill or to stop yourself from becoming ill”. Really, that’s the whole gist. When confronting issues related to physical health, self-care could mean taking a day off from work and resting at home, getting a hot drink for your sore throat, holding a bag of ice on your sprained ankle. For chronic conditions, self-care is important as it supports conservation of physical well-being and increased awareness of how an individual feels. Mental health-related issues require their own type of self-care, and this could be a walk in the nature while listening to your favourite podcast, painting, meditation and everything in between. Sounds fun already, doesn’t it?
Practicing self-care means doing things that you enjoy and that you find relaxing and healing, every day but especially on bad days. Self-care is, first and foremost, a commitment that you make with yourself to take time off your full schedule to do something of your liking. Self-care is not as much about practicing your hobbies as it is about taking a mental break from the stress and pressures of everyday life. Most importantly, self-care should be part of your daily routine and you shouldn’t go through a single day without doing something entirely and completely for yourself.
Practicing self-care on Sunday morning: a cup of tea & a good book.
(photo source: personal archive)
I understand if you're wary of the wonderful effect of implementing self-care in one’s life, which brings up the question: is there any science behind the principles of self-care? Several studies have been written on the role that self-care plays in patients suffering from both physical health and mental health issues. Apart from giving yourself the rest and the attention you need, self-care also means independently looking out for your own well-being, which cultivates a particular sense of autonomy in those struggling with difficult physical and mental conditions. But sometimes, life is just hard. We have trouble staying on top of everything and we often neglect our most basic needs, and before we know it, we’re tired, unwell and unhappy. You might struggle with going to all your classes and turning in your assignments on time, while balancing a job, a beloved personal project or a family. And all you can think about is a certain day in the future when this ordeal ends once and for all, but something that the world we live in fails to tell us is that maybe we can help ourselves bear in the meanwhile. And essentially, this is what self-care is about. You don’t have to hate your life until the next holiday trip you booked.
A rather somber facet of self-care is that, unfortunately, you don’t have anybody who will always, truly and unconditionally, take care of you apart from yourself. Family, romantic partners, friends, colleagues and co-workers – they all are amazing and we need them in our lives. We’re social beings, after all! But chances are, you’ll end up in at least one situation throughout your life when you are on your own and you have nobody watching your back and picking you up, wrapping up your wounds if you fall. For moments like this, you need to learn how to be your very own best friend. Sometimes, your loved ones might not understand. They might not even realise they are part of the problem that makes you want to run away from your life. Goodness, I know I lost count of all the people who have come to me complaining about fighting with their parents, being bullied at school or having a partner who take more than they give. This is where self-care becomes something you must give yourself because nobody else provides it for you.
Philosophical matters now over, how can you actually practice self-care? I genuinely don’t think there is a finite number of ways you can take care of yourself, so I might as well start by sharing how I practice self-care, which is not as often as I would like or even recommend, but I can’t be a good guru unless I fail to follow my own advice.
A new way for me to practice self-care is travelling with friends: not as often as my usual pastimes, but definitely worth it (here in London, October 2017, and Durdle Door, March 2018).
(photo source: personal archive)
When I come back home after a day of work/uni/both because I have a death wish, I like changing into the comfiest clothes I own, usually sweatpants and my oversized uni hoodie, and whip out the quickest dinner I can make, hopefully healthy too. Once basic needs are out of the way, I watch a TV show while eating ice cream: best combo is an episode from The Simpsons with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s with chocolate fudge brownie. To unwind from the stress accumulated throughout the day, I run Fallout: New Vegas and play for a good couple of hours before I even think of going back to uni work. On the evenings when I am especially tired, I would have a hot shower using my Lush Twilight shower gel (because lavender is the best. Thing. Ever. After Ben & Jerry’s), and read in bed for a bit before I go to sleep early.
Now, I am not doing these things every day although, goodness gracious, I really wish I did (though my hours on New Vegas say otherwise). I encourage incorporating self-care in your everyday life, but I am also a supporter of diversity. On some evenings, self-care is going to the gym and pushing my physical limits to the point where I fall asleep as soon as I lie down in bed. On some evenings, I want to spend time with my partner, go see a friend, or draw in my bullet journal. It really depends on how I feel that day and how worn out I am when I come back from campus. Let me highlight it again for you: overindulgence is just as bad as not indulging yourself at all.
If you are not into any of the things mentioned above, that’s totally fair and, if anything, I am jealous of you. Some other things you can do to take care of yourself are…
Meditation
Thoughts journalling
Aromatherapy, lighting up scented candles
Listening to music, playing an instrument
Go for a walk/a hike/a bike ride in the nature
Pampering, giving yourself a face mask
Get a new plant
Painting & pretty much any other creative outlets
Cleaning your room, decluttering, reorganising
Adult colouring because that’s a thing
Make yourself a cup of tea & a hot beverage of your choice
Snuggle your pet
Buy yourself flowers
Write a gratitude list
And for the milionth time, you can do so much more! Anything you like doing can be a way you can take care of yourself. And living in the stressful, fast-paced world that we live in, it’s easy to forget how important that is sometimes. So for the next time you come around to read another Mental Health Weekly post, pick a thing or two you would like to do more from now on & start practicing your new habit daily. And celebrate your results as you go.
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Studies about self-care you might want to have a look at x
Also people who are better than me at talking about self-care x
Photo source: personal archive.